climb up over the top
survey the state of the soul
you've got to find out for yourself
whether or not you're truly tryin
why not give it a shot
shake it, take control
and inevitably wind up
findin for yourself all the strengths
that you have inside of you
inspired by the words of mraz ....
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Monday, December 26, 2005
365 days to christmas
lunch at pauline and joe's ...
watched Lost dvd ...
left over spaghetti and slice of pumpkin pie for dinner ...
watched The Family Stone at the SO Galleria by myself ...
if i was back in high school and was asked to put together a 'how i spent my christmas day' essay, i would absolutely get a failing mark!
christmas day 2005 ... uneventful but just being able to relax, to breathe, and to go where the wind takes me made it special nonetheless.
watched Lost dvd ...
left over spaghetti and slice of pumpkin pie for dinner ...
watched The Family Stone at the SO Galleria by myself ...
if i was back in high school and was asked to put together a 'how i spent my christmas day' essay, i would absolutely get a failing mark!
christmas day 2005 ... uneventful but just being able to relax, to breathe, and to go where the wind takes me made it special nonetheless.
Friday, December 23, 2005
friday the 23rd
ok girls so check it ... i cruise controlled to work this morning! hahaha ... yes, cruise contol - 101 north - 70 miles per hour. pretty unusual for a friday morning drive on a southern california freeway but yah, i guess one of the lovely things about the holidays is that freeways miraculously open up. halleluyah! ALSO ... it was good to know that my cruise control actually STILL works. lol ... it's not very often do i get the chance to use it.
i am officially on christmas vacation!! funny tho that i have nothing planned for the next 4 days that i'm off work. it's one of those ocassions that i guess i'll just play things by ear, go where the wind takes me, or what not.
it's almost christmas. feels completely odd - this is my 5th christmas away from home.
i am officially on christmas vacation!! funny tho that i have nothing planned for the next 4 days that i'm off work. it's one of those ocassions that i guess i'll just play things by ear, go where the wind takes me, or what not.
it's almost christmas. feels completely odd - this is my 5th christmas away from home.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
week 51 2005 ...
mr. weatherman said it will be 72-74 degrees on christmas weekend. that's so weird! i just might have to turn on my AC on christmas day!
in other news ...
i feel completely lost using a mac. it's quite a challenge. annoying and disappointing at times coz i couldn't find my way around it. for sure tho somehow i'll get the hang of it. i love how the laptop is so small now. that in itself is a major adjustment switching from a 15 inch pc. it's all good. i'm up for the challenge.
hmm, it's a little sad to realize that i don't have any gifts to open on christmas day.
i wonder whose christmas dinner i'll be crashing this year ...
in other news ...
i feel completely lost using a mac. it's quite a challenge. annoying and disappointing at times coz i couldn't find my way around it. for sure tho somehow i'll get the hang of it. i love how the laptop is so small now. that in itself is a major adjustment switching from a 15 inch pc. it's all good. i'm up for the challenge.
hmm, it's a little sad to realize that i don't have any gifts to open on christmas day.
i wonder whose christmas dinner i'll be crashing this year ...
Monday, December 19, 2005
Sunday, December 11, 2005
holiday party ... minus '+1'
last night, i trekked over to simi valley for the company's holiday party at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Museum. i have to admit, the venue was very impressive. i got the chance to go inside Air Force One and although it was a 1971 and less hi-tech version of the aircraft we saw in the harrison ford movie, it was still very interesting. more over, it was almost an out of body experience to be dining under this imposing white aircraft.
the night unfolded with endless drinks, a nice dinner and an awesome dessert table. i had fun in spite of the fact that i shared the dinner table with five couples. yeh, it's one of those times that i question myself - where the hell is my '+1'? or will i ever have a '+1'?? i sipped on my cranberry juice laced heavily with absolut vodka as i ponder the thought.
a few drinks later, i realized that i don't need a '+1' to enjoy the party. i was cool by myself. i know for sure that i can enjoy life even if i have to face it by myself. it's sad most of the time yes, specially when i look around the dinner table and i see five pairs of faces beaming with happiness. i look away but only to see more of them happy couples. i manage a faint smile. i am happy.
as i trekked back to sherman oaks with a slight buzz in my head, i remind myself that happiness is not solely a product of a '+1'. i can live a normal single life and be happy, content and comfortable. i have a whole lot of other things that i am be thankful for. it shouldn't take a '+1' to complete my life equation.
i am single and i am proud of it - that in itself is a major '+'...
dear santa ...
singing to the tune of "white christmas"
i'm dreaming of a 12-inch powerbook
just like the ones at the apple store
where the aluminum alloy glisten
and to itunes i listen
to feel this hot mac on my lap
i'm dreaming of a 12-inch powerbook
with every blog entry i write
may your days be merry and light
and may this powerbook be mine
i'm dreaming of a 12-inch powerbook
just like the ones at the apple store
where the aluminum alloy glisten
and to itunes i listen
to feel this hot mac on my lap
i'm dreaming of a 12-inch powerbook
with every blog entry i write
may your days be merry and light
and may this powerbook be mine
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Monday, December 05, 2005
Christmas in Hell
check out Christmas in Hell by Michael Lent. now available on Amazon (Barnes and Noble will be coming soon). The book won't hit book store shelves until after the holidays but is currently available on Amazon and several other online venues.
and dont' forget to check the website - www.christmasinhell.com
ok peeps, go click on the link and order a copy of the book. it's the perfect holiday gift for your spouse, gf/bf, ex-gf/ex-bf. ex-ex-gf/ex-ex-bf (if you're still friends with them), relative, co-worker, neighbor, enemy or your landlady.
and i wonder .... what actually goes on in hell on christmas day? i doubt it if it's a holiday for them too. do they sulk all day coz the rest of the world is celebrating the birth of jesus christ? do they walk around and pretend that it is NOT the 25th of december? they probably celebrate it by turning up the heat or adding more wood to the fire. ehh i dunno. and i don't intend to find answers to my questions anytime soon. teehee .....
and dont' forget to check the website - www.christmasinhell.com
ok peeps, go click on the link and order a copy of the book. it's the perfect holiday gift for your spouse, gf/bf, ex-gf/ex-bf. ex-ex-gf/ex-ex-bf (if you're still friends with them), relative, co-worker, neighbor, enemy or your landlady.
and i wonder .... what actually goes on in hell on christmas day? i doubt it if it's a holiday for them too. do they sulk all day coz the rest of the world is celebrating the birth of jesus christ? do they walk around and pretend that it is NOT the 25th of december? they probably celebrate it by turning up the heat or adding more wood to the fire. ehh i dunno. and i don't intend to find answers to my questions anytime soon. teehee .....
Sunday, December 04, 2005
holiday ramblings
so it's been a month since i was last on here. amazing how time flies and more amazing is the fact that small things, piled on top of each other, can completely sidetrack a person from his normal routine.
i'm still reeling from recent events concerning my dad. he has been in poor health the past few weeks. i'm torn between the states of helplessness and hopelessness. i want to see him but i can't. i want to be with him but i can't. certain situations restrict me from seeing him and i begin to question myself - am i cut for this? a million "why's" has been running through my head. the more i try to look for answers, the more questions surface. it's been difficult to maintain normalcy, painful at times. i deny it but i know my mom and my older brother and sisters are right when they say that HERE is where dad wants me to be. this is what he planned for me. so i struggle to stay strong at the same time try to find answers to my questions. i hope and pray that an opportunity to see him again will be eventually become a reality.
thanksgiving day came and went. it's my 5th time to celebrate this holiday that i hardly understand but hell, it was a 4 day weekend so i might as well enjoy it. destination: las vegas. gooble and liquor up seems to be the theme of this holiday resulting to an uneasy feeling of bloatedness and dehydration by day 4. despite the 10 hour drive back to LA, it was overall a great weekend. las vegas is always fascinating, it's always alive. top that with an awesome set of friends, las vegas is one desert i'll gladly be stuck in.
oh let us back track to the monday before thanksgiving day. i went to supercuts in sherman oaks to get a buzz cut. note that i don't usually go to supercuts. i go to a stylist to cut my hair but since i wanted a buzz cut, i figure i'll save some moolah if i go to a cheaper salon instead of my $55-per-cut stylist (hell, if i had a clipper i can do it myself). so i sat there almost tearfully watching the girl clipper off my hair when this man dressed in all black and ski mask walks in announcing 'nobody moves' and 'you get on the floor'. to everyone's horror, this man was robbing supercuts at 7:30pm in a the middle of rather busy sherman oaks intersection! and to make it worse, he had a gun. i sat there and watched the scene thru the mirror. the man stood about 5 feet from my chair and he was continuously swinging around his gun and a couple of time it came really close to my head. i felt the blood drain from my face and i was nauseous. i knew for certain that he was gonna ask for my wallet and my razr phone coz i sat really close to him. at the back of my head, i was ready to give it if he asks but after getting the cash from the register, he took off. everybody was safe thankfully. we called 911 and 15 minutes later (took the cops that long) i was being questioned by an officer. i was a witness to a crime! ugh. the image of that man pretty stuck in my head for a couple of days. that night as i lay in bed i tried to process the whole experience. lesson learned - never go back to supercuts. yeh i did save a few bucks but for a few minutes i totally compromised my safety and my life. i didn't sleep very well that night.
i am back at the corporate office in westlake after a brief stint in simi valley handling purchasing and products. as much as i wanted to stay in simi, i wasn't really given much of a choice. i was rather upset about the whole thing. it certainly isn't a sign of growth going back to the same department i've been working in for the past 3 years. i felt a certain degree of embarassment the day i came back to corporate. i felt like i was demoted in some way although i know i was really not. i couldn't express an honest response to the "welcome back's" that i got all day. it was difficult to even acknowledge with a smile. i was frustrated. but being the eternal optimist that i am, i look at the bright side - at least i have a job in one the biggest advertising and marketing company in the US. i know for a fact that not a lot of people are the given the chance so i'm thankful.
i recently bought a book called 'a beginners guide to web design'. i've been wanting to learn web design for the longest time and even planned on going back to school for it. due to financial restrictions, those plans has been sitting in the back burner for quite some time. recently though i've realized that i should take the initial step - self study. 'study' being the operative word. i'm taking the bulls by the horn and trying to get really into it while my motivation is still in full gear. it's good to learn new things and i welcome the knowledge.
christmas is around the corner and a new year is upon us. the holiday season is always a challenge for me. this season brings me a certain level of depression, of homesickness. it's feels odd to celebrate christmas when you're away from home. it's almost an irony to its entire meaning. like my past birthdays, i try to find a reason to celebrate. and like the past 4 years, i bet going to church alone on christmas day will be a extremely painful. it's always sad to find myself amidst groups of families or close friends celebrating the true meaning of christmas day. i remain hopeful. i'm sure my
turn will soon come.
no day but today ....
i'm still reeling from recent events concerning my dad. he has been in poor health the past few weeks. i'm torn between the states of helplessness and hopelessness. i want to see him but i can't. i want to be with him but i can't. certain situations restrict me from seeing him and i begin to question myself - am i cut for this? a million "why's" has been running through my head. the more i try to look for answers, the more questions surface. it's been difficult to maintain normalcy, painful at times. i deny it but i know my mom and my older brother and sisters are right when they say that HERE is where dad wants me to be. this is what he planned for me. so i struggle to stay strong at the same time try to find answers to my questions. i hope and pray that an opportunity to see him again will be eventually become a reality.
thanksgiving day came and went. it's my 5th time to celebrate this holiday that i hardly understand but hell, it was a 4 day weekend so i might as well enjoy it. destination: las vegas. gooble and liquor up seems to be the theme of this holiday resulting to an uneasy feeling of bloatedness and dehydration by day 4. despite the 10 hour drive back to LA, it was overall a great weekend. las vegas is always fascinating, it's always alive. top that with an awesome set of friends, las vegas is one desert i'll gladly be stuck in.
oh let us back track to the monday before thanksgiving day. i went to supercuts in sherman oaks to get a buzz cut. note that i don't usually go to supercuts. i go to a stylist to cut my hair but since i wanted a buzz cut, i figure i'll save some moolah if i go to a cheaper salon instead of my $55-per-cut stylist (hell, if i had a clipper i can do it myself). so i sat there almost tearfully watching the girl clipper off my hair when this man dressed in all black and ski mask walks in announcing 'nobody moves' and 'you get on the floor'. to everyone's horror, this man was robbing supercuts at 7:30pm in a the middle of rather busy sherman oaks intersection! and to make it worse, he had a gun. i sat there and watched the scene thru the mirror. the man stood about 5 feet from my chair and he was continuously swinging around his gun and a couple of time it came really close to my head. i felt the blood drain from my face and i was nauseous. i knew for certain that he was gonna ask for my wallet and my razr phone coz i sat really close to him. at the back of my head, i was ready to give it if he asks but after getting the cash from the register, he took off. everybody was safe thankfully. we called 911 and 15 minutes later (took the cops that long) i was being questioned by an officer. i was a witness to a crime! ugh. the image of that man pretty stuck in my head for a couple of days. that night as i lay in bed i tried to process the whole experience. lesson learned - never go back to supercuts. yeh i did save a few bucks but for a few minutes i totally compromised my safety and my life. i didn't sleep very well that night.
i am back at the corporate office in westlake after a brief stint in simi valley handling purchasing and products. as much as i wanted to stay in simi, i wasn't really given much of a choice. i was rather upset about the whole thing. it certainly isn't a sign of growth going back to the same department i've been working in for the past 3 years. i felt a certain degree of embarassment the day i came back to corporate. i felt like i was demoted in some way although i know i was really not. i couldn't express an honest response to the "welcome back's" that i got all day. it was difficult to even acknowledge with a smile. i was frustrated. but being the eternal optimist that i am, i look at the bright side - at least i have a job in one the biggest advertising and marketing company in the US. i know for a fact that not a lot of people are the given the chance so i'm thankful.
i recently bought a book called 'a beginners guide to web design'. i've been wanting to learn web design for the longest time and even planned on going back to school for it. due to financial restrictions, those plans has been sitting in the back burner for quite some time. recently though i've realized that i should take the initial step - self study. 'study' being the operative word. i'm taking the bulls by the horn and trying to get really into it while my motivation is still in full gear. it's good to learn new things and i welcome the knowledge.
christmas is around the corner and a new year is upon us. the holiday season is always a challenge for me. this season brings me a certain level of depression, of homesickness. it's feels odd to celebrate christmas when you're away from home. it's almost an irony to its entire meaning. like my past birthdays, i try to find a reason to celebrate. and like the past 4 years, i bet going to church alone on christmas day will be a extremely painful. it's always sad to find myself amidst groups of families or close friends celebrating the true meaning of christmas day. i remain hopeful. i'm sure my
turn will soon come.
no day but today ....
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